While death of a loved one often brings sadness, there can be an opportunity for great joy.  That opportunity comes by extending ourselves in different ways to those who are missing a loved one. 

Our culture is one that does not value the sadness that comes from a loss.  Rather we are expected to be 'over it' in a few days and 'get back to work.'  The services are completed, the visitors are gone - you are alone.

Really, it's all about our culture's resistance to change.  Life will be different when a loved one passes and Joy can come by 'changing' our patterns and extending ourselves in other ways to be eucharist with those who are grieving. 

How can we really share ourselves in times of sadness?  Stepping out of our comfort zone to 'be with' someone can provide great joy to the giver and the receiver.  It's not the same as having the presence of the deceased and it's not intended to do so. 

It's just different.  We can never fill the empty part within that longs to be united.  It's not meant to be filled.  It's meant to be joined.